Are you too stupid to gain intelligence?
Monero exists.
VPS-s exist on Tor (and apparently even I2P) which accept Monero.
What are you trying to do? If something that requires trust, such as everything other than a static web-page - I'd recommend self-hosting, trough Tor&I2P.. make sure that your power income and internet connections are stable - or you might get deanonimized.
Homestly - do your fucking homework, kid!